Blake Shelton caught hell for singing how if he had love, he could get by on minimum wage in a song he hasn’t even released yet.
It’s the rabid and naked obsequiousness to materialism and objectification that makes it so damaging and perilous in the hands of the pliable country music fan. It’s almost as if the conspirators behind “New Truck” sought to make the mother of all insults to anyone and everyone holding even a modicum of taste and conscience when it comes to music listening, and to spite those that admonish the shallowness and frequency of stupid country truck songs by making one so diabolical, it would result in lasting neurological trauma in the target audience by inspiring recurring episodes of catastrophic emotional distress every time the mere memory of this song was fleetingly accessed.īut “New Truck” goes well beyond simply being banal and insipid to an agonizing and unconscionable degree that one can only fairly label as cruel and unusual.
#I want it i need it i have it lyrics ditch it trash it free#
Free of hyperbole, one can legitimately argue there are songs that are carefully orchestrated and creatively composed by intelligent minds to mock modern pop country that don’t mock and illustrate pop country’s inequities as much as “New Truck” does entirely by accident. You would swear it’s parody if you didn’t know any better. It is not scientifically possible to engineer a conflagration of audio signals that is more indolent, and damaging to the psyche and intellect than this abomination.
You can palpably feel the IQ points fleeing your gray matter while in audience with this audio monstrosity. It’s an insurrection, an impeachable offense, a high crime and misdemeanor, and should be permanently banned from the public consciousness post haste, lest it incite further violence upon the sanctified institutions of society. It’s the musical equivalent of storming the barricades of The Grand Ole Opry, smashing through its ornate windows, barreling over it’s greeters and ushers, running willy-nilly through its hallowed halls and chambers, putting your feet up on Roy Acuff’s desk, pilfering the lectern of the great Eddie Stubbs, and standing inside the sacred circle at center stage itself, and declaring the tweedledum and tweedledee of Florida Georgia Line the next Grand Ole Opry members.
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